Lylas:10 Seconds of Insanity
by SaiKuraU
Summary: What happens when you lose someone important to you? How do you cope? KakashixOC SasukexOC. Please read and review.
1. The Funeral

**Title: 10 seconds of insanity.**

**Summary: What happens when some you love very much dies and you can't seem to climb your way out of that hell hole that becomes your life? Follow as one family struggles to cope when all that they lived for seemed to be stripped away from them. **

**Sasuke: *glares* what gave you this idea?**

**Me: It was spurred by a conversation about how you'd cope if you lost your other half.**

**Sasuke: You better cry while you're writing it.**

**Me: I cry thinking about it. Any this is a revision of my first 10 seconds of insanity and hopefully it's better. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto (If I did you'd definitely know) though I do own this plot. **

**Please review!**

Grey clouds obscured the once blue sky and rain drizzled against the hunch backs as a village mourns the loss of a beloved member. The grass took on a dull green and the trees seemed to droop as if sharing the weight of the loss, even though in a way they were.

A beautiful grey stone stood forbiddingly above the ground and adorning the rough surface was the name of the one person I never expected.

LYLAS UCHIHA

She never took no for an answer and pushed  
ahead when others paused. But a kinder, gentler  
woman you will never meet again.

The cemetery it laid in was crowded with people in black and carrying white roses and as I stood next to Sasuke I began to realize that it was almost our turn to say our goodbyes. I guess that's when things became clear. I knew the minuet I stepped up to place my flower down, I'd have accept the truth. Sasuke apparently had been thinking the same thing because neither of us had stepped up yet.

My eyes were dry I hadn't cried once since I found out because Lylas had specifically asked me not to cry on her behalf. Sasuke was already crying his broad shoulders shaking with the effort to keep himself quiet. Unconsciously I rubbed comforting circles into his back.

The cemetery was eerily quiet and the silence intensified as we stepped up to the alter, oppressing me on all sides, trying to crush me and without realizing it I was fighting back, though I was fighting a losing battle. On the alter was a picture of a black haired girl with ash blue-silver eyes. She was smiling and laughing as she hung onto Sasuke's neck who, by the way, looked equally happy. It was the only picture that I could find that had both of them smiling. (Well there was another one from when they were five, but I thought I'd keep that one secret.)

All of a sudden it hit like a ton of bricks. She was gone. My best friend, my sister, my confident, my jail cell buddy was just…. Gone. My body began to tremble and Sasuke looked at me, feeling the tremors through his back. My eyes were wide and the flower slipped through my fingers as I brought my hands to my face. I had walked to Lylas's house this morning because I had wanted to talk to someone. Just talk, but she wasn't there.

I walked to her house every goddamned morning. She made me breakfast and she always, without fail, was there. And where was she now? Six-feet under that's where and it hurt. I had been hurt so many times in my life, but this… this… just wanted to kill, rip me apart, until I was nothing but a shell.

Pictures flashed through my mind. Us having fun doing things that were most of the time illegal, of her laughing and smiling, of her kissing Sasuke on their wedding day, of her holding my first born, of her walking out the door for the last time with a small wave and a brilliant smile.

A scream pierced the quiet of the cemetery and it wasn't until I felt arms holding me that I realized that the scream was my own. Falling. That's what it felt like, I was falling and the only thing holding me up was those arms. The pain was ripped out of my chest and it left me scarred and bleeding. And for the first time in seven years I cried. Sobs wracked my small frame, burning my throat and stinging my eyes.

I forced those arms from me and I ran, not caring where I was going just as long as I was away. Dimly, I was aware that I was in the forest. Branches ripped my skin and pulled at my hair, but I didn't care my vision was to blurry and I tripped and landed hard scraping my knees and hands, but I still ran. There was no stopping me. I hurt so goddamned much. It had to be a joke… it… it just had to be. 'Lylas!' my mind screamed. 'Lylas you can't be gone! Tell me you're not really gone! It hurt so much! It can't be true!' But I knew that it was and it hurt all the more.

It had been me who had seen her last, it had been me who identified the body, I had been me who laid her into the coffin and damn it had been me who the whole freakin thing. I couldn't feel the nagging presence of her within me she was well and truly… Gone.

The footsteps running up behind me didn't register until iron arms encased me and held me to what felt like a brick wall. I fought. Oh god how I fought. The man who held me fell to his knees holding onto me with everything he had, refusing to let me go. "Shhhhh. Shhhhhh. It's me." The deep baritone voice was unmistakable. A long suffering sob left my lips and I turned in Kakashi's arms and held on tightly to the vest of the only man that I ever truly fell in love with. And he kept on saying Shhh stroking my hair pulling the already useless ponytail the rest of the way out. Most people would have said 'It's ok. It's ok.' But he knew, more than anyone else that it would never be.


	2. The kids

**Babble: Hey kids it's me again. I'd like to let you know that writing my own friends death is really hard so I want constructive criticism. Not just insults *gives my brother a pointed look.***

**Sasuke: *Glares* What?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, if I did Sasuke would never be such a bastard that he is now.**

Sasuke never got along. Never. We got into a lot of fights and they were never violent. At least they weren't until about a week after the funeral. Things started out with verbal abuse, then things being thrown, then punches, and just recently weapons got involved.

Sleep was scarce for me; I worked harder than ever, and only ate when Itachi forced it down my throat. Itachi began to watch me more carefully and stuck close to me, until I finally had enough and threw a vase at him.

Sasuke had holed himself up in the house and virtually ignored the kids, until I stormed in one day and threatened that if he didn't get his out the bed that I'll gain custody of the kids.

This argument led to my current predicament. Sasuke was leaning against the Mizukage office door as I was trying unsuccessfully to do paperwork. I knew why he was there. I had already sent the required documents to the Hokage for custody of Lylas's kids.

"You're not doing much better with you're kids, so why take mine?" Sighing I took off my glasses and rubbed my eyes. "I don't have time for this Sasuke. Leave me alone" Sasuke moved from his spot and I found him standing against my desk. "No. You're never home anymore, so how would my kids be better off with you?" Slamming my hand on the desk I glared at him.

"Oh I don't know. Maybe I'll feed them like they need to be or make sure the house is clean and if I wasn't capable at the moment I'd sure as hell get someone who was, to do it for me other than completely ignore them!" I hadn't meant to raise my voice, but I had and Sasuke saw Red.

Lashing out at me, he knocked me back and we grappled neither one of us willing to give. I threw Sasuke from me and the boy launched back landing punches and kicks, though he didn't go without injury either. Soon I found myself against a wall staring into eyes as red as my own. "Mizukage-sama!" Keinomaru shouted, bursting into the room. Sasuke sent out a jutsu binding the poor redhead to the wall.

"Don't take my kids from me!" He sounded panicked and the only thing keeping me from shouting back. "They're all I have left of her! Just… just please… please don't take them from Me." His grip on me loosened. He sounded so desperate and I sighed. "Let's make a deal, I'll keep them with me for a couple weeks and allow you to grieve properly I'll give them back to you after a while and if you can't take care of them I'll take custody."

Sasuke laid his head on the wall next to my neck (since he refused to let my feet touch the ground.) "Deal, just don't take them."

Things became somewhat tame after that. Sasuke dropped the kids off and Kakashi stayed home more often and I finally decided to clean up the office at home so that I can be at the beck and call of the kids. Itachi checked in on me everyday and Kakashi stayed out of my way. Things I thought would get better. Haha show how fucked up my way of thinking was. 


	3. Nighmares

**Babble: I'm back again. Sorry it took so long, I've had the worse case of writers block. Anyway again I'd like constructive criticism. **

**Sasuke: *mumbles* what would Lylas say if she found out you were writing about her death?**

**Me: *glares* I told her about it so there, now are you going to continue to sulk and glare at my back as I type?**

**Sasuke:………… Yes.**

**Me: *sighs* fine. Anyway once again I do not own Naruto though the plot is mine. **

I was drowning.

Cold water was invading my lungs cutting off all of my ability to breathe.

Darkness pressed in on all sides of me, oppressing and deadly.

But the worse part was the silence.

The silence that spoke off everything that I had lost, of everything I could never gain again.

A face loomed of the growing darkness. A thin face with tan skin and black hair, her blue-grey eyes pleading with me. Pleading with me to pull myself out, to stop doing this to myself.

"Lylas!" I screamed, but the water allowed me no sound, but she understood and she was crying.

"**Wake up SaiKura." **She said sounding pained. **"Wake up please. Don't do this to me. Don't let my death be drowned in tears." **But I couldn't stop. The cold water made my skin numb. Ever since I was tortured with water so cold it burned, I had been terrified of cold water. But I deserved this. I could have saved her, I could have…. I could have stopped this onslaught of pain.

She was speaking again, but I couldn't hear her, my vision was blurring, my pulse was fading and I knew I was screaming. A long silent and bloodcurdling scream.

Hands grabbed my arms forcing me up. They were masculine hands, big enough to encircle my whole arm, I thrashed and fought, I didn't want to make it to the surface, but those hands were unyielding and they forced me to the surface.

Spring up in bed, I found myself gulping in much needed air. Mismatched eyes stared down at me. Kakashi was on his knees at the edge of my (or what passed as one) bed, holding my shoulders tightly. I noticed he was breathing heavily, as if he had just been part of a huge brawl. And by the long gash that marred his cheek, that brawl had been with me.

The gash bled like a mini-waterfall down the tan expanse of his face. Still breathing heavily, I grabbed onto his lower and well toned arms. My nails dug bloody gashes into his skin.

It took me long agonizing minuets to realize I was crying and Kakashi hadn't tried to dislodge my death grip on his arms. Instead he never let go until I calmed down enough to rub my stinging eyes.

My fingers caught cold metal and I realized with a rueful laugh that I had forgotten in my exhaustion to take my glasses off. Papers littered the room and pencils haphazardly stuck out of the wall.

My body ached and I felt more exhausted now than I had before I had fallen asleep. Kakashi pulled me into a very gentle hug. He held me so tenderly, as if, if he held me too tightly, I'd break and to a million pieces and right now I really doubted that that was to far from the truth.

After a few minuets that felt strangely like hours Kakashi kissed my neck and pulled away, holding my face in his hands. "Want to talk about it?" He asked, his voice almost to quiet for me to hear. Probably because he already knew the answer. Shaking my head I leaned in and kissed him. I kissed him with everything I had, because right now he was the only solid thing in my life. And he kissed me back with the same amount of force, because he knew I was slowly but surely slipping away from him.

**Ok wow this was hard for me to write. Anyway a heads up the next chapter will be from Lylas's oldest son's, Sesame, point of view. I think it'd be interesting to see the kids side of the story and reaction to their Mother's death.**


	4. Sesame

**Babble: Ok like I said this chapter is from Sesame's point of view and hopefully I don't tear this story apart by doing so.**

**Sasuke: YOU'RE KILLING YOU SISTER!**

**Me: Still grumbling about that?**

**Sasuke:…… WELL YEA!**

**Me: She helped me write it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the "Parting song" by Dave Webber, but these characters are my own.**

I couldn't sleep.

Mommy usually comes in to sing me to sleep every night, but she's gone now.

I don't really understand it. She's been gone before, but she's always come back. Aunty Sai told me, when I asked why they had put Mommy in the ground, that my Mommy got really sick and they couldn't keep her heart beating. Daddy won't look at us anymore and I haven't seen him since the day Aunty Sai told us to pack up and move out of the house.

She's become like a second Mommy. She's always there, but I don't like her as much as my real Mommy, so I can't wait until she comes back.

Kakashi says she won't. He said Mommy was waiting for until I grow older and my own heart stops beating.

I don't think he understands. Mommy always came back. Always. My Mommy is invincible, so her heart is just resting, it'll start beating again.

With that thought I sat up in bed. I shared a room with my five-year old cousin. I always liked being a year older than him, just because it made him mad. Slowly I crept to the door, and down the hall. Usually if I couldn't sleep Mommy would bring me milk to drink and we'd sit at the table and she'd tell me stories.

I stopped at the entry of the hallway when I noticed my Aunt sitting with her head bent over the table.

She looked sick. Though I've never seen her sick, but I'm sure that this is what she looks like when she is. Her long raven black hair was ratty and held in a careless ponytail, and dark circles were around her usually vibrant hazel eyes. She was really pale, like not her normal pale but kind of like a grey kind of pale.

She and Mommy were always together. They were best friends. I remember the stories Mommy used to tell and every single one had at least one mention of SaiKura if not the whole story about her.

My Aunt cried a lot now. She doesn't know that I know, but sometimes I catch her sobbing in her office. Kakashi looks lost a lot. I think he's worried about her, like her heart would take a rest too. But then again she's like my Mommy. Invincible.

She wasn't crying now, but she was staring blankly at a sheet of paper in front of her. Probably another important document. She has a lot of those.

She looked up suddenly and caught me staring. I blushed, I hate being caught staring. Smiling weakly she motioned me into the kitchen. "What do you need?" She asked.

Shrugging I climbed into the chair next to her. "When will Mommy come back?" There they were again. Those tears. She never allowed them to fall in front of me. I think it's because I'm a kid. Shaking them away, my Aunt took my hand. "She's not here Sesame. She's gone."

Gone? Why is it every time I ask that, that is the only word that they use? But my Aunt was still talking. "Sesame you're a big boy now, so I'll tell you. You're Mother died. She had cancer and we didn't catch it in time."

Dead? No dead is someone who dies on missions. My Mommy will live forever. I was confused, but I couldn't ask questions, because Kakashi walked into the room.

"Sesame? What are you doing out of bed?" He sounded tired. He looked tired to. Jumping up I looked sheepishly at him. My Aunt still held my hand. She was shaking. "I couldn't sleep." I replied simply. "Mommy used to sing to me before bed." Kakashi looked at my Aunt before offering a small smile. It was nice to see him without his mask. He only does it in the house.

"I may not have the same kind of voice but I'll sing you to sleep." Excitedly I hugged my Aunt and said "I love you!" before following Kakashi back to my room.

Once I was comfortable he began to sing to me.

Soon the morning sun will rise,

And dawn will bathe the sky.

There's time for just this parting song,

Before we say goodbye.

So sing together one and all,

And raise a glass of wine,

Here's hoping we will meet again,

Along the road of time.

We've shared our stories, yours and mine,

We've shared our hopes and fears.

With memories of distant youth,

We've both rolled back the years.

So sing together one and all,

And raise a glass of wine,

Here's hoping we will meet again,

Along the road of time.

The ever-turning, fateful wheel,

Must cause our ways to part.

And bringing untold mysteries,

Another day will start.

So sing together one and all,

And raise a glass of wine,

Here's hoping we will meet again,

Along the road of time.

For from endings come beginnings,

From the old shall come the new,

With hopes for tomorrow,

We'll see our parting through.

So sing together one and all,

And raise a glass of wine,

Here's hoping we will meet again,

Along the road of time.

So sing together one and all,

And raise a glass of wine,

Here's hoping we will meet again,

Along the road of time.

The song sounded sad. Mommy sang it only once before and it was at a farewell party. I didn't think too much about it, because I was falling asleep and Kakashi kissed my forehead. "Hey Kakashi tell Mommy to hurry home." I mumbled. Vaguely I noticed my Aunt at the door and my last thought before I fell asleep was……

She's crying again.


	5. The Will

**Babble: I am terrible person I know, but I made my family cry when they read this. Anyway this time it's again my point of view and it's were we are attending the reading of the will and it's a bit of relief from the depressing themes of the rest of the story. Please Review!**

**Sasuke: Finally admitting you're a depressing person?**

**Me: Are you kidding me? After this one I'll set up silly little one-chapter stories.**

**Sasuke: Do you even have a sense of humor?**

**Me: Sure I do! Just not everyday!**

**Disclaimer: I do not Naruto, though I do own the original characters in this story. **

Sighing I pulled myself out of my roller chair, to take a quick shower. Guiltily I couldn't remember the last time I took one. Probably if I asked Kakashi, he could tell me. Sighing I leaned my head against the grey tile of the shower. Another thing that made me feel guilty. He was trying so hard to help me climb out of my hellhole, but I can't help but feel like I'm pulling him in with me. And then there were my own kids. I had a five-year-old misfit boy who looks nothing like his father, but instead looks almost identical to Kakashi.

Laughing ruefully I turned my face up to the spray. Leave it to Dan to be the only child of mine that isn't Kakashi, to be the only one that looks like him. Then there were my three-year-old twins that are just now learning the pleasures of terrorizing older siblings and cousins. Kain and Kira are definitely my kids. They both have my slender build and black hair (though they do have a silver streak on the left side of heads) they do have opposing eye colors. Kain with his golden brown eyes that express every one of his feelings. (We believe he is mute he hasn't made a sound since he was born.) And Kira with her bright green eyes that seem to pull you in because of the mystery that they could hold.

Then there was my youngest Zero who was just about 1. Surprisingly he looked mostly like Itachi. With black hair and burgundy eyes. All my kids though inherited Kakashi's tan. My kids had been so supportive of their cousins coming to live with us. Though it's been hard for me. Lavender who is eight now, understands that her mother is never going to come back. She looked like Lylas's sister (I'm actually her half sister and I'm like a 4th cousin five times removed from Sasuke and Itachi.) With long silky sandy blond hair and lavender eyes, hence the name. Then there was Sesame who was like Sasuke's mini-me, with black hair and green-blue-brown-silver eyes and that infuriating half smirk.

Then there was Caralina who was four, who was the hardest to look at because she was the absolute copy of Lylas. The same black hair and blue-silver eyes and the look in her eyes that tells you, she knows exactly what's going on. The easiest to handle is two-year old Kei, because he's a mix of his parents, Sasuke's attitude and Lylas's eyes.

Even though it was hard, I couldn't abandon them like that. They needed someone to stand in as a parent since their Mother was gone and their Father was emotionally unstable. Speaking of Sasuke….

I turned off the shower and stepped out into the hallway, with my fluffy white towel wrapped my body. "AH!" someone squeaked and turning I saw Sesame hightailing it back in the other direction blushing so brightly that I could have seen it if the lights had been turned off. Chuckling I entered my room and threw on some cargo pants and black tank, put my hair up in a ponytail and headed toward Sasuke and Lylas's house. Today the will was to be read and possessions given out.

Sasuke waited for me outside the Hokage's office. He looked like hell. He was way to thin and pale and circles lay heavily under his eyes. I hadn't seen him since we made the deal about his kids. I expected him to still be pissed at me, but to my utter surprise he grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together.

The gathering for the will reading was small. It was Tsunade, Kakashi, Sasuke, Itachi, Iruka, Asume, Naruto, Gaara and myself. Tsunade wanted to keep it small, even though I believed everyone should have been present. Sasuke and I sat in the front most chairs still holding hands. Tsunade nodded greeting before begging the reading. And I could hear Lylas's voice float in with the words.

"Pretty much everything I have goes to Sasuke and my kids, with a few exceptions. Itachi gets all my cookbooks. He needs to learn how to cook food instead of making poisons. Naruto gets my stash of Ramen and silver chain necklace that he tries to steal every time he comes over. To SaiKu I give my piano and musical snow globe. I n ever understood her obsession with that globe, but hey now you can have it. Now in addition I have a few wishes I'd like people to fulfill. My first wish is for you Sasuke. I would like you to fall in love again and be happy. I want you to smile and remember I loved you more than anything else in this world. I love you Sasuke Uchiha." Sasuke started silently sobbing then and I held tighter to his hand. "Naruto God damn it boy will you just ask her already? She won't wait forever you know?" This caused Naruto to blush.

Tsunade stared at the paper, blinking a couple times, before looking up and giving me a sheepish look. "I'm sorry she's telling me to use the emotion in this." I nodded confused. "SAIKURA LEE UCHIHA IT IS ABOUT GOD DAMN TIME YOU TELL HIM! I'M TIRED OF YOU INORING IT!" Confused I tried to figure out what she was talking about. 'I have no idea what she's talking about.' "OH YES YOU DO LOOK INTO THE CORNER AND YOU'LL REMEMBER!" As one the room turned to the corner whose only occupant was Kakashi. 'What the………oh.' I smiled.

**Flashback**

"WHAT?" I covered my ears as I went back to working on my paperwork. "YOU"VE NEVER TOLD KAKASHI THAT YOU LOVE HIM TO HIS FACE?" Shrugging I put my pen down. "No." "WHY?" "Geeze you don't have to yell Lylas." "HOW COULD I NOT? YOU BETTER TELL HIM SOON." "Ok fine I will Geeze."

**End flashback**

"See now you know what I'm talking about." Tsunade said continuing to read the will. "You shouldn't be scared of it. Well as for my will, that's pretty much it. Oh one I have one last wish. I want you to remember that I love you all and I don't want you to ruin my memory to be drowned by tears. I love you. Goodbye."

Silence reigned in the room and I didn't realize that I was crying until Sasuke gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. Suddenly I looked at Tsunade. "She told you to pause for ten seconds to let me remember what she was talking about didn't she?" I asked. Tsunade nodded before she began laughing.

I had to laugh also, even as I was crying. Leave it to Lylas to know exactly where Kakashi would be standing and how long it would take me to remember what she was talking about. The whole room found itself chuckling to, even Sasuke, who was thinking the same thing.

It had been Three weeks since Lylas's funeral and it had been two months since I had laughed this hard. Even if the situation wasn't all that funny. It just felt good to laugh again. It was like Lylas was in the room with us again.

**Wow I hope that was a good enough break from the story. Warning this next chapter will be short it'll be about some of the choices I make and some of them may piss some people off because not all of them are good ones. (No alcohol or drugs will involved I promise.) **


	6. Choices

**Babble: Ok so this took a while for me to update. This is a relatively short chapter about some of the decisions that I make. So anyway I am up for constructive criticism and loving reviews are always welcomed. Enjoy!**

**Me: *types rapidly ignoring the obviously pissed behind me.***

**Lylas: *skips into the room and reads over my shoulder.* I'd kill you if you really did that if I died. **

**Me: *doesn't stop typing* Too bad.**

Sighing I leaned back in my chair and threw another completely useless letter into the trash can that was already overflowing with wadded up paper. Restlessly I got up and paced. A week after reading the will, I had found myself facing a predicament. Sasuke hadn't left his house since the reading and I found myself having more and more dreams about Lylas.

She wanted me to help him. But how the hell was I going to help him with everything else I had going on in my life? My kids. His Kids. My job. Kakashi. How could I help him? Sasuke was like a baby, he needed 24 hour watch and someone to make sure he ate, showered and socialized at least a bit. What could I do?

Suddenly I stopped. It felt like something had hit me in the face and jumped down my throat. I did know what to do. Lylas was gone, I had to protect the one thing that was most important to her. And that happened to be her family. I needed to care for her family.

I knew the steps I'd have to take, but I didn't know if I was ready to take them. Frustrated I sat heavily onto the floor grasping my hair tightly.

I'd have to give up my life. Everything. My life. My village. Everything with the exception of Sasuke, my kids and his kids, because that's what Lylas wanted. But…

No. Lylas gave everything to everyone and willingly too. I should be able to willingly give everything up for her. Even…. Even Kakashi. That would probably be the hardest part, because I'd be taking the kids with me when I left. Yes. We'd have to leave. Start out fresh. Where I wasn't sure yet. Somewhere secluded. Like an island outside of the Mist.

That was another thing. I'd have to choose the next Mizukage. I couldn't leave my village without a leader. The elders wouldn't approve of my resignation, so I'd have to show them someone as good as, no, better than myself. And I knew just the person.

Getting up from the floor, I moved to behind my desk. I had limited time to change my life, so I started with the easiest thing. "Shinomaru!"

**Sorry told you it'd be short. Anyway the next chapter is from Kakashi's point of view. So I'll update as soon as I can **


	7. Hell in a Nutshell

**Me: *glares at the computer* **

**Sasuke: Ha finally feeling like this was a bad idea? **

**Me: No. The computer keeps flickering. **

**Sasuke:…..**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. You would know if I did. **

The bar was unusually rowdy and smelled heavily of smoke. The table I sat at also hosted Gai, Asume, Iruka, Jeriya, And a couple other teachers from the academy.

There were few nights where I would go out drinking with the guys. And even when I did go I rarely ever drank. SaiKura doesn't like alcohol so I do my best to limit it.

Speaking of SaiKura….

Asume said something that was apparently funny, because the whole table erupted in laughter. They obviously were all pleasantly drunk, because there was no way wine bottle corks were funny. Shaking my head slightly amused, I returned to my thoughts.

SaiKura.

She had been looking like hell for a while now. She was to thin, to pale, and to quiet, to everything. She always took time to take care of the kids and the rest of her time she spent working. I never got to see her anymore. There were nights were she'd wake up screaming and bleeding and all I could do was hold on to her. She's slipping from me and I know it. It's horrible to feel like she's going to break and it's even worse to know she's going to break. And all I can do is wait.

Dan was waiting too. Even though he was only five he seemed to know that his mommy is slipping and he was scared. He began to sleep in our room. Afraid that if he woke up in his own bed, he'd finds that his Mommy had disappeared just like Lylas did.

Lylas. Three months had passed since she died and it hung over the villages like a cloud that would never give way to sun. Everyone felt her loss. Hell even the trees felt her loss. They grayed and drooped sadly as if they had been hit by a horrible storm.

Sasuke was still a hermit. I heard about the threat that SaiKura had given him, but still he hunkered in his house, refused to move and refused to take care of himself. Itachi force-fed him, but that was all he managed before Sasuke had enough strength to lash out at him.

Itachi himself wasn't doing to good, but he was to busy trying to keep everyone else going that he couldn't grieve properly. Kirin did her best to keep him going to but she was losing the battle with herself to.

And me? Well I tried to stop SaiKura's demons. I tried to be strong just like Lylas wanted me to. I tried to take care of myself. But in the end all I can really do is continue to love her and be there and even then, I, myself, want to break down and cry.

So summery of everything?

Everything has gone to hell in a nutshell.

Something light landed on my shoulder, bringing me out of my thoughts. The table around me bustled on, but when I turned around everything around me seemed to stop. SaiKura gave me a sheepish smile, but it quickly turned to a sad one. Tenderly she combed a hand through my hair. I saw tears pooling at the side of her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. I grabbed her hand and held it. I had a feeling I knew what was coming.

"It's Sunday shouldn't you be working late tonight?" I asked. She shook her head. "No." She replied. "From this moment on I am no longer the Mizukage." Silence reined behind me as the others processed this through their drunken addled brains. I just stared, my mouth hanging open. Not that anyone could really tell due to the mask.

She sighed. "I declared myself unfit for the position, so I passed the seat to Shinomaru." "But you loved your job." Asume slurred looking comically shocked. She just shrugged and gave another sad smile. "Sometimes there are choices that have to be made, no matter who is made unhappy by it. Because they still have to be done."

I couldn't help but notice that she didn't look at me as she said this.

Two weeks later

It'd been two weeks since SaiKura's announcement. Naruto as the Hokage was naturally pissed. A lot of questions were asked and it seemed that he was getting more of them than he was getting answers.

For some unknown reason I found myself hugging and kissing SaiKura every chance I had. I helped her more in the kitchen and refused missions that came my way. I even helped her clean out her office. That was an unpleasant job let me tell you.

Groaning I let my head fall onto Iruka's desk. Iruka who had been grading papers gave him a worried look. Though he did turn to glare at Asume as he entered the room smoking. Asume naturally ignored him. "Your looking rather depressed my friend." Asume said, sounding slightly concerned. Staring at him blankly I wondered if I deemed him worthy enough of an answer. "AHHHHH MY YOUTHFUL RIVAL! I HAVE COME TO CHALLENGE YOU ONCE AGAIN!"

Groaning I ducked to avoid the flying pencil attack from Gai. The green monster jumped in through the window to sit on the desk. "Not today Gai." Iruka muttered looking distastefully at the now crinkled papers on his desk. Gai opened his mouth to give an elaborate speech on how not challenging yourself everyday will cause you to die young.

He never got the chance too.

The class room door opened and SaiKura stood there with her head held high and her back straight as a rod. I could smell mint, and I immediately noticed that she was freshly showered. She looked healthier and I would have assumed that she was on the way to recovery…. If it weren't for the fact that she wasn't smiling.

"Sai?" I'd learned long ago that I was the only one she'd allow to call her that. Sasuke did call her that, but it was always said in a sneer or a degrading way. Without any warning she strode forward, pulled my mask down and pulled me into a desperate kiss. I could literally feel the shock emitting from the three guys in the room. Oh yeah forgot to tell them I was dating the Mizukage.

Though I forgot them as the kiss grew even more desperate. She held onto me as if I was her only connection to life and I clung just as hard back. The kiss dragged on for what felt like for ever, and I was afraid of the moment when I had to let her go. Yes I may have kissed her in the past, but this one felt…..final.

She was the one that pulled back. For a moment she just stared at me, running a hand through my hair. "I am so sorry." She said and she walked away.

I will always regret the seconds of hesitancy that I waited before realization struck me and I got up to follow her. Once outside, I found she was gone. Panicked, I made a mad dash to the apartment. The door was unlocked. The living room and kitchen looked untouched, but further inside what he found was devastating.

Nothing.

The kids rooms were empty. Nothing was left. The beds, book cases and cloths, all of it was gone. There was no trace to indicate anyone of them had been there. Even the pictures were gone.

Hesitantly I made it to our bedroom door. I was afraid to find what I knew was inside. The room held no trace of her. Not even a smell. All she ever had was gone.

Except the piece of paper that lay on his bed written in my hand writing. It was short, but at least it was something.

_Kakashi,_

_I am so sorry that I just left like this. I know I'm taking your kids away from you but… I feel that I owe this to Lylas. I feel that I have to take care of her family. And I'm part of that family. You are to, but your stronger than me, you can go on without the reminders. I can't. _

_I have severed my ties with my village and I have removed all reminders of me and the kids from your house, to make things easier. I'm taking Sasuke and the kids to a quiet summer home north from here, once we've settled I'll contact you and you can come visit the kids._

_I told you I had some decisions to make, and they had to be made, even if some people got hurt in the process. I'm pretty sure Lylas wouldn't really approve, but I think that at least she'd understand. _

_I'm not sure that you do though. Kakashi, I love you. I love you so much, but I need to do this. I need to do this so that I won't break and fall apart. Please I beg you to understand. I love you. Goodbye_

_SaiKura _

Tears fell onto the paper and for a moment I refused to believe they were mine. But after a while though, it was useless. I threw the letter on the ground and sat there on the bed. She said she that had to do this before she broke, but what she didn't realize is that by just doing this, that she was already broken.

**Ok I know. This was so cliché. All well at least it's done. **


End file.
